So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
