no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
false alarm, still single
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