I wish my penis had an off switch
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
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