Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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