did you get engaged???
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
