yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
