Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize