my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
