Me too!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
ok first of all what the fuck
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
