your parents love me but you hate me
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
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