Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
