I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
