No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
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