maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize