She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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