is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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