Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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