Your face is a jimmy john
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
it was like eating out sand paper
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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