Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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