Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Randomize
