She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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