By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
