Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
