Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
