She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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