Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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