He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
high people should be assigned attendants
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Randomize
