I will die if light touches me.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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