I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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