I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Randomize
