I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
