No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
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