New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
These tits shall not be calmed
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
