Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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