He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
