please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
