Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
