didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
