If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
