Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Why is your signature on my underwear?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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