Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
