Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
