It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Is Oprah even human
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