just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
