Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
