Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Michael Bay diarrhea
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
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