I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
