He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
