North Korea, Best Korea!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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