i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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