peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize