either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
