Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
