i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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