honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Randomize