Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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