her vagine was all disorganized.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
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