Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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