Define "chronic" masturbator.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
