first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
