Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
