I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
