I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
