You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Randomize
