if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
