She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
