I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
