Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
