Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
