I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
