Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
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