my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
