mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
