This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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