He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
All the doctor said was why
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
