too bad you live with your parents still
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
