Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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