All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
