i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
