All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
