Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You need a sexual gate keeper
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
