I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
